Wednesday, November 24, 2010

insyAllah shed some tears

The crying of the Prophet (may peace be upon him)
He would cry out of fear for Allah s.w.t,
He would cry when a loved one had died,
He would cry because out of fear for his ummah, for his nation (that’s you and Qistina btw),
He would cry because of the Hellfire and its terrible punishments!

How often do we cry in our prayers?
How often do we cry when we recite the Quran?
When was the last time you cried out of the fear of Allah?
And we have sins like the mountain tops :(
Sins which is more vast than the oceans
Yet we rarely cry!

(Crying increases humility and humbleness)

When was the last time that you cried?
Crying, out of the fear of Allah, because you have so many sins,
Crying, out of hope for the mercy of Allah, 
This is itself ibadah, an act of worship,
And a person is rewarded for it :)

On the day of judgement, the day where the sun will come so close to them, the heat is extreme that some will drown in his own sweat. It’s the day where there is no shade except the shade of Allah.

And only 7 types of people will receive Allah’s of them is:

A man who remembers Allah in seclusion, alone when no one can see him, he remembers his sins, he fears Allah, and then he began to shed tears.

By Allah, a man would not be touched by the Fire, if he cries out of the fear of Allah! MashAllah!

The Prophet, our beloved, sallalahu alahi wassalam..
He would cry in his prayers,
He would cry reciting the Quran,
He would cry when the Quran is recited to him.
He would often cry when he remembered Paradise and the Fire.
He would cry in his du’a.
He would cry, asking for forgiveness.
He would cry when giving da’wah to the people, out of the love for his ummah.

Our hearts has become so hard, that even if someone was to tell us about all of the torments and punishments of the Fire, we consider it something, which is normal, we just pass by it. We continue like nothing has changed, it didn’t have any impact in our hearts. (audhubillah)

With all of our sins, all the wrongs that we did, all the sins we committed by day and by night, and we cant shed a single tear out of the fear of Allah?

We can’t shed even a single tear in our prayers, when reciting the Quran?
The Prophet s.a.w used to cry, until the ground around him become wet! SubhanAllah!

"Oh Allah, my ummah, my ummah, did You not promise me that You would not punish them so long as I’m amongst them? Did You not promise me that You would not punish my ummah so long as they seek forgiveness from You?" 
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam

The Prophet s.a.w would not just cry all the time to the extent that would make him depressed, and neither he would just laugh and smile that he would never be able to shed tears and would never have the fear of Allah.

He would balance between the two.
To know when to cry, when to smile, when to laugh..

Khutba by Shaykh Ahsan Hanif - When the Prophet s.a.w cried

(Ya know if I’m given the robot hand I’ll type out every single thing the Shaykh said. These are just some important and interesting points. And I really am not bothered to change any single sentences as to make this post seemed somewhat 'well written')

Like Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan said it ‘so the words of Allah is not enough to shake you anymore?’ regarding the Quran.

So yeah I’m bakkkk!

Monday, October 4, 2010

ana maliziyyah, and egypt is a lotta fun alhamdulillah

Professor : So when we burn sojum, it becomes yellow. Why? Because sojum...

Student : Excuse me professor, but what is sojum?

Professor : You dont know sojum?  General formula, Na. Spell, S.O.D.I.U.M.

Student : Oh, Sodium!

Professor : Oh is that what you call sojum in Malizia? In here, we call it sojum.

I welcome me to Egypt, the very land of Moses (may peace be upon him). Ahlan wasahlan. Imma go eat some round-shaped bread and shawerma and say ya'ni in almost every sentence :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

for the name's sake

So I was reading the Quran after Asr, not because I have nothing else to do, but because it’s a nice thing to do :)

I was reading the 49th surah, al-Hujurat. Before I read a certain page in the quran, I will read the translation of the whole page first, then only I will read the Arabic verse. Because? Because it takes a loooot of time to read the meaning of verse 1, then recite it in Arabic, then read the meaning of verse 2, then recite it in Arabic. It’s a tiring process. So I read the translation of for example, a whole page 516, then only will I recite the whole page in Arabic.

I came to a conclusion that the paragraph above is unnecessary. Eh, sorry.

So I was reciting the 9th verse, and came across the word yuhibbu which means love. So I was kinda curious, oh, who is it that Allah loves?  Yes I read the meaning of the whole page, but obviously I forgot who was/were referred to in this particular verse? So I checked and it says, For Allah loves those who are fair (and just). Go back to the Arabic, which reads, InnAllaha yuhibbul muqsiteen. Now, I am crappy at Arabic but as far as I know, muqsiteen is derived from the root word qistina.

SubhanAllah, my name is in the Quran. 

(Go check it out, Al-Hujurat surah 49, verse 9)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What Specfic Activities should be performed in blessed month of Ramadan? Dr Zakir Naik

As usual, I jotted down some points. But you still have to watch it! Don't be lazy! It's Ramadhan!
These are just some points, but there;s more if you watch the whole video. I can't describe my note as a summary of the whole video.

What specific activities should be performed in the blessed month of Ramadhan?
By Dr. Zakir Naik.

1.     Niyyah (only for Allah)
2.     Observing the sunnah of the fast (suhoor as late as possible, iftar ASAP, be careful and avoid everything that’s haram or makruh)
3.     Implement as many sunnahs of the prophet (may peace be upon him)

1.     Growing a beard (no worries bros, you’re more gorgeous with it on)
2.     Pray in congregation (jamaah)
3.     Go to the mosque (especially bros)
4.     Offer more nafl (sunnah) prayers
5.     Pray taraweeh
6.     Do iktikaf in the last 10 days of the Holy Month
7.     Do more and more zikr (the remembrance of Allah)
8.     Read as much Quran as possible( and don’t forget the meaning of it!)
9.     Read as much authentic hadiths as possible
10. Pay the zakat
11. Maximize charity
12. Spend more time with family
13. Forgive people, as this is the month of forgiveness mashaAllah
14. Do da’wah
15. ….and lots more!

I’m now trying to get to know the prophet (may peace be upon him) more, cos I’ve been feeling that I don’t know him as much as I need to know him. He’s trying to save me from hellfire and loves me without even seeing me, so of course I need to know more about him. So I bought a book the other day and insyaAllah will be reading it everyday.

I’m also trying to memorize surahs from the quran as it is recommended by many people. But I’m trying to figure out which surahs to memorize. I’m thinking of short surahs so that it’ll be easier and this way I also can memorize more meanings of each surahs. Its not quantity, its quality, innit? Whaddaya think? Which surahs?

things that increases the iman

By Abu Usamah ad-Dhahabi.

These are some points that I managed to jot down, in case you are busy and do not have the time. But its still worth watching it. Please watch!

Things that increases the iman
1. Obeying Allah
2.     Reading/listening to the the Quran (occupying self to the Quran)
3.     Studying the sunnah of Rasulullah (may peace be upon him)
4.     Sits with people of knowledge and religious people / sits with other Muslims and talk about religion (because we ALWAYS forget)
5.     Avoiding environments that restraint you from practicing the deen / do not help you remember Allah
6.     …..and lots and lots more                                                                                                                          

Even better, Ramadhan itself is a faith booster, so Alhamdulillah I say, for these never ending blessings :)


Sunday, August 1, 2010

ramadhan is the very best, innit?

Assalamualaikum :)

I’ve been falling in love over and over and over again, and the feeling is growing stronger as we breathe! I’m feeling so good SubhanAllah! Who’s the luckiest guy on earth you ask? Its my dearest Holy Quran! The words/kalam of Allah. I figured out this maybe one of the symptoms of pre-Ramadhan. Like yesterday morning I kissed my Quran out of randomness. I was busy with some stuff so that morning I didn’t get to read it, then the lovely part of me came out and made me kiss the Quran :D

Like how Native Deen said it,

Dont ever frown, or your head looking down,
If you read the Qur'an you're the best in the town.

I thank Allah, the Most Loving,  for putting this love inside my heart. Oh how I wish I felt this long ago..It soothes me every time I read it. It crossed my mind ; SubhanaAllah, these are the exact same words that the Prophet (peace be upon him) tought, the exact same words that the Sahabas used to read, and now I’m reading it again, thousand years later. The imagination was waaay beyond my limit that I just sat and kept on pondering about it.

Oh Allah, please grant me more and more love so that I can ALWAYS love you as much as the other mukminins love you..I love you oh Allah, but sometimes I forgot. Sometimes I say I do, but deep in my heart I don’t really mean it. Audhubiilah..Astagfirullahalazim. Sometimes I seek for love from other slaves, thus forgetting You. If you make me love another slave even in the most halal way, please make it so that my love for him will never be even a dot more than that my love for my Lord.

Sorry but yes I can be a bit emotional at times. Okay I’m cool now.

So I wanna share with you my current caller tone that I’ve been using for the past few weeks. Its beneficial and catchy at the same time.

You may want to go to the Youtube page so that you can read the lyrics too, its in the description. Click Here, Life had just been made  easier for you Alhamdulillah.

My mom heard this when I used it as my alarm clock (but never wake up to it) and she's like "Whats that song that I always hear in the morning? Its soo nice!"

I can’t wait for Ramadhan, hope my love for the Quran will remain as much and stronger insyaAllah. Then I can’t wait for Eid to come so that I can FLY to Egypt!

Ana auza rouh ila Masr! I want to go to Egypt! ß My Arabic is crappy, thus the translation.

And I had a funny conversation with a dear friend. Caution : I may or may not exagerrated the conversation, but its somethin like dat.

Me : OMG I can’t wait for Ramadhan!!!  (then I shrieked a bit)

Not me : And why is that?

Me : Whaddaya mean why is that? Its Ramadhan yo! ß (LOL no I didn’t say Yo) Everyone’s excited for Ramadhan! E-ve-ry-one! Its like the super duper Holiest month!

Not me : Err, not me I guess?

LMAOOO I was soo confused that she’s not psyched for Ramadhan.

(I’ve been watching lots and super lots of lectures, will post dem soon insyaAllah) 

Saturday, July 24, 2010

this is the cutest thing!

everything is soo true..may Allah make it easier for us ameen.

so i got this award from miss Bubbli. thank you. then i'm supposed to tag 10 people but sorry dear i don't have much time to do so. 

so there you go, the Sunshine blog award!

my blog, so my rules. I shall tell you what is my fav time of the day upon receiving this very award, and you shall do so InsyaAllah. do not leave my blog (LOL) without telling me what is your fav time of the day and why 

so my fav time of the day is..Morning! of course, who doesnt love the morning. sometimes i sleep in it, sometimes i watch tv and sometimes i read. i love mornings cos they are always so cheerful, not gloomy like the night, and i'm always at my best potential in the morning <--sounds like a scholarship holder hehe

so what of you?

Friday, July 23, 2010

what a waste of time

So, a crappy malaysian tv channel has a love survey kinda thing going on. Its the thing where you text them (the tv people) your name and your lover's name. Then your name will come out on tv with the percentage of your love. I dont really know what the percentage presents, but i think its like the 'level of love' looooool thats the dorkiest thing on human land. Some couple get a 33 and some get as high as 90 (yayyyy an A+ in a relationship!) . And then beside that percentage thing is a column for advice. For example, the couple's name are Jeffrey and Lyn. Then the advice will be like, ''The main cause of the problems in this relationship is jeffrey's jealousy. So jeffrey you need to cool down a bit'' So much for a 50cents advice on tv. Jeffrey might be the nicest guy on earth and it might even turn out that Lyn is the biggest jealous freak ever lol i'm just generalizing normal relationships. I kinda think the (most probably) woman that wrote the advices is not even married yet, probably worse, don't even have a boyfriend. Its kinda fun, you know, reading the advices!

Then funny names will pop out, (this is the funnest part, reading names) like James and Adam. Lmaooooooo! Gays on TV! Gays on TV! Then there's, Vampire and Iblees (shayyytan). Dang they scored some pretty high percentage. Yeah I always thought these two had it going on. You go, creatures!

one more advice - If you have a problem for Ene as a person, talk to her face to face and solve the problem. (OMG i cant believe it! Ene is an alien??)

So people don't waste too much time on stuffs like this. There are like sooo many things else goin on in this world!

001 By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),
002 Verily Man is in loss,
003 Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy
Al-Asr (103)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

rant and rave

i felt a HUGE pain in/on/around my head.

"Ahh! Oh God, (sorry i'm not complaining but) i hate headache"

The pain was so sudden, so i thought "this is weird.."

Then it became severe.

But I was pretty sure I don't have migraines.

Then I found out that I was actually leaning my head towards a paperbox, so the edge of the paperbox was kinda like poking thru my head. So yeah that explains.

That explains that I have nothing to blog about. I do have 1 award to be posted though but I'm looking for friends to tag it to. Please you, be my friend :)

so there you can see my initial its the biggest one NINA
ahh college was SO MUCH FUN we had pizza delivered during class


Thursday, July 15, 2010

important random stuffs

1.    I have a soft toy that I REALLY love; it’s a dog, Boo. And can you please tell me if it is a big matter that I have a dog as my teddy bear. As far as I understand, we are not allowed to touch the saliva of a dog, so obviously my teddy does not have a saliva, and until God made him have a saliva, I will keep on hugging and crushing him. I even thought of taking this to Egypt but one of my friend asked, “Wouldn’t 
the strict Muslims be offended? It is obviously a DOG!” lol

2.     I can’t stop blogging (my Mac is convincing me to use bogging, logging, flogging, clogging, and slogging instead of blogging. I have a brain you machine!!)  in my head, like literally blog to myself in my head. Can we call it HeadBlogging? Hlog? Blead?And NONE of these posts in my head has ever end up in my blog. These posts are like Microsoft-word proof. Once you try to write dem down, they vanish themselves! This blogging in my head thing keeps me awake at night, which I really dislike. And I think if my mind can be put on loudspeaker, I may sound like a total desperate loner! Talking to myself non-stop, expressing feelings again and again about how I think some boring conversations are funny, or those boring people are actually a lotta fun!

3.     I have 1 and a half sneakers. And I have to stop wearing them with my abaya and galabeyya.

no worries folks, i stopped completely...and got meself new shoess!

4.     I LOVE iftar moments and I eat the most during sahoor.

5.     My favourite movie is The Book of Eli..woooo it’s simply awesome.


6.     Sleeping is MY thing. Ahhh all the time wasted! In the car. In the class. In the fridge. While eating, walking, standing (no I’m serious), swimming. I even sleep when I’m sleeping!

7.   I have an *cough* awesome *cough* twin. I mean, she’s awesome because she was infected by me, you really think she was born with awesomeness? Pffffft!! That’s like against the law of humanity..

8.     I still believe that an 8 is a 0 with a belt.

9.     I’m a hopeless romantic too..

10. I’m a Muslim, Alhamdulillah!

Ok now I wanna let you know that I’m not being all self-obsessed by posting these boring facts about me, I was tagged by few other sweet bloggers (please join me in this quest of not trying to sound like a lonely blogger) trillion years ago, but I was hibernating so didn’t have the time to post it. And by trillion years ago I meant a month ago..teehee. So I think I was tagged by Amira, Bubbli, and Here n There ß (I’m not sure if Here n There tagged me but if she doesn’t then I’m so embarrassed right now) (^,^)

i tag M93 because she write no blog

Yayyyy I got my first award from Amira and Bubbli! I clearly don’t know the name of the award but clearly the picture says, ‘You’re going places, Baby.’ I don’t know what it means but Baby sounds nice so yeahh lol.

So I’m supposed to write what I (insyAllah) will do / doing / did in 10 years. So that means around 20 years of age. (no doubt, I’m 10)

So insyaAllah, in 10 years..

Have more knowledge on Islam and better/more active at doing da’wah

Married with an awesome/charming husband who have overflowing BEARD knowledge on Islam and practices it :)

Already a good daughter to my loving parents (mmuahhs), a good wifey to the above husband (yea the bearded man), a good sister and a good friend to everyone (except to those who think I’m uncool cos that just can’t be accepted rite?)

Performed Hajj!

Worked as a really good Muslim dentist and then stop to give a try on being a lecturer (can’t imagine dat tho)

Have at least a kid with an inspiring name like AbuBakr as-Siddiq or Umar Al-Khattab

Still have this blog going on cos I can’t imagine the blogosphere without me lmaoo

I’m supposed to give out this award to 10 other people but what if the other 23,589 followers that weren’t given the award feel bad? My name is Qistina and it means justice (or something like that) and because so, I shall not give it to anyone. (Hey you, yea you, if you're reading this, you kinda deserve this award actually, just don't tell others okay, cos I told them I wouldnt be giving it to any specific person but you're a special case and you know that. its like out little secret!)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

put OH as a title when you don't know what else to write

I was watching a movie, Antwone Fisher, about a navy with some weird problems that I failed to understand.So there was a scene that he was caught for fighting and then a psychiatrist navy dude came to talk to him about it. So the conversation went something like this (might not be precise, i was reading the subtitles cos tv was on mute cos mom's sleeping)..

'Tell me what happened'

'They teased me'

'What was it about?'

'Bout me and girls'


'They said i'm a virgin'

(with a really confused look on his face) 

'I don't know, probably'
(maybe he's a muslim then?)

'Don't you like girls?'

'Of course I like girls, I think bout dem all the time' (lol scaaaryy) 

'So have you ever been with any girls?'

'Yea when I was small, I was kissed. I hate it and I puked' 
(turned out he was sexually abused so that explains)

Later on he (Antwone) was telling the psychiatrist navy dude bout the abuse, bout how he had never been (he meant sexual intercourse) with any women in his life because of that, about how much he wants to do it but he just can't get someone pregnant do it. And then the psychiatrist was saying stuffs like 'you should really think about this problem'. So the problem that they were talking here was, Antwone haven't slept with any girls and that's a really serious matter! Then Antwone went nuts and halfly screamed;

'I'm already 25 and I am so ashamed (that I'm still a virgin)!' 

I was so confused when I watched this. I mean, What kind of mentality is this? Its Funny! 

Oh sadd, I was so busy typing this that the movie almost ended.So I can't tell you if his mind is still in that funny state.Okay now his soon-to-be girlfriend is hugging him and then he's smiling, and then they almost kissed (go Antwone, thats a start!)........... and then my mom switched off the tv. (yea suddenly she's awake) Thank you mama.
So i guess Antwone is normal now?

If that so, I don't wanna be normal, I'll stay a freak.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

sorry sorry

there's something wrong with my comment box. all the comments approved were not shown, maybe a blogger problem that i dont know of.

can someone tell me whats wrong with the comment thingy? it'll be much appreciated :D

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Who is this Kerry Hilton person?

Hillariouism/hillariousness/hillariouny starts around 1:01

Guy 1 : He said that hmmm..that he’s gonna text me,..mmm say if..cos he said that he wants to come, but he said that mmmm he’s gonna end up goin watchin Kerry (I swear it sounded like curry) Hilson or sumthin..
Mutah Napoleon : Who is this Kerry HilTon person? ß(LMAO!)
Guy 2 : Who is that? Who is it?
Guy 1 : Do ye know about the song with Kanye West and Ne-Yo Knocks You Down?
Guy 2 : Ahahaha I don’t listen to music bro..
Mutah Napoleon : ahahahaha (in a weird tone)
Guy 2 : Fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about..but I know Tupac!





(laughing out out out out out out out out out loud?)

I’m really sorry if you don’t think this is funny, cos I’m not sure if everyone will get the joke as supposedly as you’re supposed to ß maybe you can tell that I’m a bit confused here :p

But it just amazes me that
1.     1)Mutah and the other dude doesn’t listen to music AT ALL!
2.     2)Who is this Kerry Hilton person?
3.     3)…but I know Tupac!

But I know Kerry Hilson, I’m so not cool :(

That video doesn’t have much, but this one here offers awesome reminders. May Allah bless you Mutah and may Allah bless us all. Ameen.

"Who in their right mind and i'm speaking to myself first, will take the chance to lose Heaven for temporary desire that you're gettin in this life? Everything that Allah orders us to do, is only for a temporary time. When a person gets high, he will only be high for a little bit.....when a person commits fornication with a woman, it will go away in seconds. But the next life is forever. So in our right mind, will we give up the next life for something temporary in this life? NO! Anybody with their right mind will say no i'm gonna stick to my religion, i'm gonna follow this religion because I have a chance to die in, and get to the next life and enjoy in Jannah forever. Paradise. "

"We have a beautiful way of life, and we have a Merciful Lord"

"I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve Me." Ad-Dhariyaat (51:56)

"Allah said; 'I only asked you to worship Me alone'. This is all Allah asked from us, is that hard? Is it hard worshipping our Creator alone? Keep worshipping your Lord, no matter how hard it get, keep making your salat, whatever sin you do, go back and do tawbah. Don't never feel like its too late, and always remember that Allah is Merciful."

" I won't say I was a gangsta, I was just a dude that was caught up in the wrong place"

"Most people think that becoming a muslim, your life gets boring..cmon mann, its so much stuff you can do as a muslim, maybe even more, Islam is a way of life, it doesn't tell you to become a muslim and live in the mountain and don't do anything, you know"

Someone please tell me that you understand the Kerry HilTon joke :D

Thursday, July 1, 2010

OMG i have no idea

Suppose you learn tonight, that tomorrow is your last day, in other words, after tomorrow, you will die..

What would you do?

Where would you go?

What would you eat?

What would you drink?

Who would you see?

Who would you talk to?

What would your thoughts be?

What would your liking be on that day?

What would your actions be on the Last Day on the face of this Earth?

It makes you think, it makes you wonder.

Sheikh Feiz

Muslim Belal - Judgement Day (poem starts at 0:49)

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I'm now in a car. Trying really hard to do dhikr instead of singing along to Akon. Mann his song is sooo addictive..oh Afrikaaaaa lol. It is hard to quit music when everyone around you are enjoying it. Oh no lemme get it right. It is hard to quit GOOD music..crappy musics are so easy to get rid of, they're like people that you can't stand but you can't do nothing about it because they keep coming around. You get me? And good music is like a bestfriend, who turned out to be a friggin backstabber, so you hate her now, but you still miss those wonderful moments. Ahh what a nice metaphore. Back to the topic. Yeah, its hard to quit good music when everyone around you are enjoying it.

May Allah make it easy for me, and for you too, in anything you do.

I'm not here to brag about me quitting music, about this small jihad. But i hope I at least can inspire others who haven't quit music to start leaving it behind. Yes it is hard, just pray to Allah that He will count everything we do to be closer to Him, to do whatever He say we have to. Be patient and trust Allah, trust that He will help those who ask for Him.

When My servants ask thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me: Let them also, with a will, listen to My call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way. Al-Baqarah (2:186)

I was told that perseverance and patience will always be rewarded by Allah. Alhamdulillah. I always forgot how Most Giving He is, or the fact that He is Most Merciful.

For all the sins I've done today, but not a single thing He took from me. Not a single hardship He put on me. Instead I am still here, enjoying more and more and more blessings from Him. What a weird way of repaying my sins! How can I not love Him? How can I not be thankful?

Imagine if He ain't merciful. If for every sin you do, one thing will be taken away? Maybe a finger cut, maybe a leg amputated right away. But no! He is the Most Merciful! So where is my Alhamdulillah? Are my deeds enough to repay whatever He gave me?

Oh was I talking about music, then about being thankful? Off-tracked. Off-tracked.

Maybe not really off-tracked. For all that He had and will give me, so why not I make a little bit of sacrifice to quit enjoying a dot of worldly entertainment in order to please Him?

Oh all these blessings...
Oh Allah, You are just Great! Thank You! Alhamdulillah!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

the small deeds, the small sins

All the small things that we thought its nothing

We as humans, often take the small things for granted. Like when that little part of the hand exposed whenever the loose sleeves move about. No matter how small we thought it is, its still awrah. So many women in the Jahannam, when actually it’s the guys that have more responsibilities, maybe it’s the awrah that they thought was nothing. Wallahua’lam. Everything will be held accountable, even the small things. This, we always forget.

Or those times when we skipped saying ‘peace be upon him’ whenever Muhammad was mentioned. Where have our loves for him has gone? Where’s the respect? This man who cried out for us when he was dying. This man who cared so much for us, misses us, though we haven’t even met yet. This man who’s willing to do anything just to bring us closer to jannah. This man we’ve never met.


Or that habit of delaying the call of prayer. We say ‘its ok to pray later, at least I’m praying’. I hate to see me stuck to my laptop when the adhan finishes. I hate to see others stuck to their asses when the adhan finishes. Or sleep just minutes before the adhan. How fast do we react to phone calls compared to God’s calls? We thought its just a small thing, not much of a big deal. But maybe its these things we thought small and harmless that might be the ones that’ll brings us closer to the Jahannam. And even further away from Jannah.

I want to write some more but I’m soooo stuck right now. So I’ll just leave you with some awesome lyrics by Native Deen.

Ever been on a drive? Inside in your ride
And your looking through the glass, see a car on the side
The engine's broken and the car is smoking
And the dude is shaking cause the heat is baking
Or this cat's (guy) gotta flat, and the spare's all whack
No jack in the back, and no clue where he's at
There ain't no real rush, but you roll right by
Not even asking the guy if he needs a supply
He might be alright, and to pass ain't a sin
But within you feel bad the state that he's in
How hard would it been, just to ask “you ok”?
That might be the deed that you need to succeed
That might be the deed that will so please Allah
That your forgiven the sinning you did when you was living
It's a small little thing, that can cling and just ring
And will bring the blessing from Allah Who's the King
We pass on the deeds cause they seem all small
But it might be the deed that's the best of them all
Mad when see all the passes I took
On these small little deeds I just overlook

I just can't believe
Small little deeds that I overlook, can you see?
Little deeds that I overlook, and you read
I read about it in my holy book, it says
Small deeds never overlook

Picking up trash on the path in a flash
Taking glass from the grass, as you pass to your class
A smile goes a mile and is sure worthwhile
When a brother's hostile, and has been for awhile
Put a dollar every day in the sadaqah (charity)
It may be small but you do it for the baraka (blessing)
I know you're saving for the Polo and the Nautica
A poor student but you do it just to please Allah
Things like praying for an ailing brother, under the weather
Obeying yo your lovely mother, it's for the better
Stay and help your baby brother, put on a sweater
Even saying good to one another when you're together
Advice to another sister about a mister
Your wife always go and kiss her, tell her you miss her
At night do quiet dikhr (mentioning God), and pray the witr
Invite a guy who wants to bicker, to share a snicker
Grand plans expand in our small little hands
But we overlook demands that just seem like strands
We get jammed on exams, cause we skip the small things
Small baby deeds come, bring the blessings!

oh i just LOVE typing


Sunday, May 30, 2010

so whats your jihad?

So i was gonna send an e-mail to M93 and Amira (click to read a really inspiring blog!) to ask them stuffs about music. But just as i was gonna do that, M93 forwarded an e-mail to me, regarding music. What a beautiful coincidence! The e-mail went something like 'Do you listen to music, and want to stop?'. MasyaAllah i was speechless when I was reading it. Thanks M93 and of course thank you my Lord. Just when i was looking for signs and clues and reasons, He answered my prayers, my needs.

So now here I am in front of my laptop, deleting songs. It was pretty hard as I always feel really connected to the songs I listen to. Bye Babyface, BoyzIIMen, Lionel Richie, Earth Wind and Fire, K-Ci and Jojo, Patrick Stump..the last song I listened to was Last Night's Letter by K-Ci and Jojo if I'm not mistaken. Whatever it is, adios!

oh sad but yeahh

I had this thing going on in my head for quite some time already, but I kinda ignore it. But what inspired me the most was the fact that there are lots and lots of musicians out there that gave up music, though music was their passion, their lifestyle. While here I am just a listener, know nothing about music but still have a harder time to let it go. I feel so weak watching them in their jihad. Muslim Belal even starts rapping with no music, UK Apache or Abdul Wahab too stopped music, Masikah Feesabilillah too stopped music. So many people stopped so why not me? I'm a Muslim too..

I was watching a video of Masikah and SubhanaAllah i haven't been more inspired. As he said 'music is like fitna to me'. And an older man was telling him how he's putting Jannah at risk for doing music.

Some people believe that we can't change ourselves overnight. So some people might say you can start by listening to less music. But I believe that if there's a strong will, anything is possible if Allah wills it. Yes giving up music is really hard, but I'm doing it for my Lord, my deen, my faith. There's a reward for being patient and for the jihad of the nafs. So this is my jihad. Maybe some will cal me outdated and ask me to be more open minded..There are too many arguments and discussions about how music is haram and whatnot, and some believe thats its halal as long as you don't go astray, wallahua'lam, but i just wanna be on the safe side, I'm just a weak slave spending my last hours or maybe minutes on this earth so why not do my best?

The regret I may face on the day of Judgement will never be worth the fun..

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


i'm gettin lazier and lazier and lazier by the day..can't wait for this course to finish and just go home and do nothing :)

Monday, May 10, 2010

hmmmm what shall i say?

Yesterday I made a sudden decision to deactivate my facebook account for no reason, simply doing it because Hannah did that too few weeks ago. But today I’m back again, maybe after just some friggin 18 hours, back to re-activate my facebook account. Because I missed the habit of continuously checking or refreshing the page to check for any single notification or message. I don’t know why but seeing the red highlight at my inbox makes me go ‘ooohhhh’. And then went ‘blehhh’ after receiving a forwarded email from random friends asking me to ‘click this link! To see me as a superhero!’. Some people just need to go and find a better life instead of downloading pictures of oneself and make that desperate self to look like a superhero. I mean, how more cliché can that be? But I guess if that’s the way it works, I need to get a life too,  cause I ended up clicking the link and anxiously waiting for an accurate 100secs for the ‘superhero’ to load. And I replied to that dear friend saying boring things like ‘OMG that looked sooo real!’. Maybe that’s the combination of being lifeless and pissed because I spent some time watching such stuff rather than eating ice-cream.

hi there add me if u think i'm cooler than you :)

But its sad that I never go ‘ooohhh’ seeing a forwarded email from Sheikh Abdurraheem Green on subjects like how we can help the Ummah or about deaths, Friday khutbas..etcetra. I didn’t knew that when I added that Sheikh on facebook, that he was gonna flood my inbox in such a way! Don’t get me wrong, I’m saying he’s flooding my inbox with good stuffs and naseehahs. But sometimes it gets really really loooong and I’ll just ‘save it for later’. I will insyaAllah really finish reading them next time, or next time, or next time.

And I also was missing that habit of continuously checking who’s online on facebook. Ok so you see, I’m the type of human who always appears offline in such public site. Because I do not want any unwanted ‘hellos’ from guys that have nothing important to talk about, and asking stuffs like ‘do you still know me?’ Of course I know you! Why did you think I approved the request? Because of your look? Because I think you’re cool? Maybe I’m just not rude enough to ignore a request from an ex-schoolmate from primary school. So the thing is, I don’t even know why I kept checking who’s online, seriously, every 5-10 minutes, and go back to ‘offline’ mode. Its like a facebook addiction. I don’t even like to chat there, its unbelievably small. Like a cheap chat box.

Oh. Few weeks ago I was watching The Gospel, an awesome Christian movie. Okay I don’t really know if its awesome or not, because I didn’t finish it, because halfway throughout the movie, it appears that Idris Elba was the bad guy! I TOTALLY can’t accept that and just stopped watching. I found that the Gospel songs are really catchy that some of it were playing in my head, all the harmonious voices. But of course I stopped listening, no worries peeps. What to day what to say? Ahhh…so I got this quote from the movie. MasyaAllah.

‘We should spend a little less time lookin good, and a little more time to actually BE GOOD’ The Gospel

Ain’t that just beautiful, inspiring and beautiful? It makes sooo much sense, and I actually watched that part few times cause I thought it’s just meaningful. And another thing, the quote was actually said by a Father, to Idris Elba, cause apparently, Idris was about to do something not so good on behalf of the church. And that’s when I stopped watching. And of course the earlier part of the quote stated ‘spend a little less time lookin good’ as such, because Idris does look really good mann! Astaghfirullahazim. Just to let you know, I’m not idolizing or whatever, but before I start drooling, I better stop typing.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

if you have a boyfriend, or flirting with/stalking someone..

....then this post is for you.

Sometimes you just have to let go of things, even if you don’t want to, even though it doesn’t seem right, when it actually is. Be it materialistic stuffs, or something that got to do about your emotions. So I’m now talking about ee-mow-shen-zzz ß (I’m completely aware that I can be lame at times)

I learnt about letting go. I learnt how to cope with it. And now I’m learning it again.

Some people are just too scared to let go. Too scared to be left alone, not having a lover to talk to, to lean on to. I do understand if it’s about loving and being loved, but to talk about it toooo seriously, moreover, at a young age, is just ridiculous. It’s just too much. I don’t find it tolerable. It’s just someone being dramatic, and blaming it on the hormones.

Sorry if anyone reading this is in the exact same situation. But being me, I just don’t understand. I have a circle of friends, each with their own dramas and problems. From how I see it, if your relationship has more cries than laughs, than you haven’t really grasp the meaning of having your own significant half.

A line from the song Pass You By by BoyzIIMen;

‘Don’t have to stay with someone that makes you cry, you’ll end up killing all the love you have inside’

I also do not mean if you have more laughs than cries, you should stay with your boyfriend. Don’t twist my words around.

That is exactly why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that there’s nothing more that should be done for two people that is in love, except for marriage.

Marriage is the answer. If you think you are ready for a marriage, then you will be ready for a relationship. Pre-marital relationship disses and annoys me, as much as they make me feel yuckk. I don’t think you should get involved in something that you are not ready. I think, exchanging feelings with a guy you’re not married to, is WEIRD and UNCOMFORTABLE.

‘I like you’
‘Hey I like you too’
‘Be my girlfriend’
‘oh of course!’
‘Life is sweet, aint it?’

Naaaahhhhhhhh! I think I love my pride more.

People give various reasons to stay in pre-marital relationships. ‘I would like to know him better’ ‘I don’t wanna marry a stranger’. No one’s talking about marrying a stranger, honey. I’m talking about knowing your limits here. Limits between a guy and a girl. People tend to go over the limit in getting to know someone they like.

Maybe you’re thinking I’m talking crap, it’s expected, because I don’t know how to explain my view on this. I’m thinking and seeing this from an Islamic point of view, but I do not know how to elaborate and explain things clearly. Just pardon me this time.

Okay so we all know how having a boyfriend or girlfriend is considered haram in Islam right? And pre-marital relationships doesn’t exist in Islam, only marriage does exist. That’s all I want to say actually. What a long intro, I was trying sooo hard to explain and ended up thinking, ‘naaaah I’ll just write the facts’.

I’m just trying to say, don’t get yourself involved in any pre-marital relationship. It’s not healthy for your mind, soul, heart…spiritually.

emmmmm....i don't think so.

People who love being emotionally attached to someone will find this hard. They tend to go with what they want. At the end of the day, it’s not just what you feel like it, it’s about what’s wrong and what’s right. You may be wrong, and of course God is always right, but you just haven't seen it yet. Just have faith in God, and you’ll be safe insyaAllah.

This explains my view on having a boyfriend, and thus, why I never had one. I just don’t like the idea of having one, and I because know its wrong. I also refrain myself from being emotionally attached to someone. Alhamdulillah it’s working. Although sometimes I do think it’s fun to just have a conversation with a specific guy, (not just any random guy) but I know it’s just not right, and I just don’t do it. Easy. Easy like Sunday morning.

I used to have long conversations at night with a guy friend, and to tell you the truth, it was fun, though I know it’s not the right thing to do! To have someone that you can just talk to for hours, and being comfortable with it, and being able to express your ideas like a grown up. People don’t usually ‘digest’ my ideas like I’m a grown up. And to exchange ideas from different point of views in life is so interesting. To talk about serious stuffs, not just craps. So I really appreciate this friend. But still, if you love your God, and you know what you do is not what He wants you to do, your happiness will always be shadowed with a HUGE guilt. Whenever a man and women is alone, shaytan is the third among them. And this does'nt apply just physically, but virtually too, like on the phone, chatting etc. You get what i mean. So I ended up explaining to this friend about it, and just stopped hanging out. And now Alhamdulillah I got the peace that I was looking for.

If you’re a guy, and I had never sat down and chatted with you all night, then you’re just not the guy I’m talking about okay. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about you.

The main point here is, just don’t get yourself in any relationships before marriage. I’m not being extremist but it is just simply haram. Allah knows what’s best. Be smart and just do what He says.

And Voila! One complete crappy post.

Ma’a salama people.

Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil way. Al-Israa' (17:32)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

i think i lost that 50

its currently 11.07am.

i would like to make an announcement to all healthy people in the world. thank you thank you thank you. for visiting me, for the duas, for the foods..for everything.

so this morning i got a visit from an auntie. i think she works in my dads office. but wallahi when i saw her the three words that popped out of my mind were, 'WHO. ARE. YOU?'. and maybe thats the sweeet part of it, i mean i do not know you, but then you came to my house first thing in the morning, said hi, and shoved a 50 bucks into my hand. how good can life be eh? alhamdulillah to that, specifically to that 50 bucks first, and then to that lady..hehe.

but, to come and visit me at 9am in the morning, was a bit, MEAN, i dare say. yes its the thoughts that counts, alhamdulillah, but i dont think you have to think of me first thing in the morning.

i'm a partially-sick 19 year old. where do you expect i will be, at 9am in the morning, while its raining, while the air chills the back of my bone, while im sleepy, at 9am in the morning? at 9am in the bloody morning??? (i came to a conclusion that bloody is NOT a bad word. its blood,its red, its not bad)

okay i know islam teaches us not to sleep after the morning prayer, but i'm still working on it, do not give me that omigod-u-slept-after-fajr look. you look like a pirate.

back to boredom. so my dad woke me up at 9 and he was sayin something like 'get up, my staff is here to see you, just put on your abaya and come down'

and being me now, it took me about 10 minutes to get out of bed, because the doc said that, 'you cant twist your back like this, nor u can do this, neither can you move like that, after 6 months'. so you add that with a high degree of sleepiness, and tadaaaa, it took me 20 minutes or more to get out of bed. its not long, its just not fast enough.

then i took my abaya, put on my scarf, put on my socks. brush my teeth. wash my face. ready to go.

ana asif, its boring.

ma'a salama.