Thursday, December 31, 2009

i was bored

what an ugly 'S'?
i heard you.

Happy my-goal-is-bla-bla-bla Day!

i am a *little* annoyed that everyone kept telling out whats their goal for the year 2010.
i'll be a better student, i'll save more money, i'll sin less....bla bla bla.
i'll sin less?? seriously? i think a better goal will be i'll avoid sinning.
i'll sin les just means: i'll still sin, but maybe a smaller sin.
attention : small sins will 'accumulate' and make up a big sin. there you go!

the very first thing that annoy me is/was, people just tend to forget about their goals after maybe a week!
if you don't trust me, in this coming mid-February, ask your friend what was her goal for 2010. maybe she'll make out any random goal, or say something like 'oh, did I really have a goal?', or something like 'pssshhh, screw the goal! its just for the new year eve'..

maybe i exagerrated a bit.

but i'm just teling you my view on what people do on New Year's eve. they make out a goal, and forget it.

in my opinion, we shouldnt wait for New Years eve to aim ourselves to be a better person.
why wait when you can change NOW?

for example, Harry Potter is a loser-wizard. then around early December, he made a goal : my goal for the new year is to be a better wizard and kill Voldemort! but then after a week he got  a chance to kill Voldemort, but he couldnt. why? simply because his aim is to kill Voldemort the next year. then he died around mid-December as a loser. again, simply because he had to wait for New Year to change to be a better wizard. if only he is smarter, he would have changed the moment he made out the goal and just be a better wizard. why wait for a big event to do something big which you can do everyday? i know this is such an absurd example and i'm being LAME, but you got what i'm trying to say aite?

changing to the better is not about time, its about you.

on some major random note, tomorrow is my mom's birthday!

 i would rather be celebrating her birthday all day long than asking people 'whats your goal mate?'

Thursday, December 24, 2009

just realized that spongebob is yellow, so is he a malay??

i thank god that we've moved on from black and white TVs, (imagine spongebob in black!)
to coloured TVs..

but now,

BLACK and WHITE minds?

the technology is growing at the speed of light,
but the minds of some people havent even get the light..

black-and-white-only is boring..and boredom kills..
and by this, i say, black and white minds kill civilizations!

proud to announce, i'm civilized.

he might be yellow, but who cares?

few days ago i watched a debate by fellow Christians on 'was Jesus aka prophet Isa (peace be on him) a black or a white?' i cant stand it but to think, why must everything in this world have to be related to what race you are? what does race got to do with everything?

hey what difference does it make to us, IF, Jesus is black? what? so all whites are going to lose faith in Christianity? (but then they might come to Islam, because we do not question whether Muhammad(peace be upon him) is white nor black, nor even if he speaks english!)

why why why does Jesus have to specifically be black or white? why not brown? or yellow? mind if i tell those debaters that those two colours are not the only colours that exist in this wide world?

 i'm yellow, and i have brown friends, light browns, orange a bit, black friends and white friends. see? a lot more colours!

what makes them think that Jesus is only either of those two colours? he might be light brown, or whatever you classify an Arab. i'm yellow and i'm offended that yellow is not on the list! (ok not really)

so i stopped watching the debate, because obviously, i am not fond of wasting my time  on some rascist controversy revolving around a religion.

you do not practice a certain religion based on what race you are, you believe in it just because you have faith in it. aint it?

and that is why Islam is beautiful. oh MashaAllah.

i'm a yellow Malay and Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) is an Arab (dare i say, light brown?).
our colors are mixed because we believe in the same God, Allah subhanahwataala.

but if certain parts in 'the modern & adjusted' Christianity believes that it seriously matters so much if you're black or white, then, O Mighty Allah, i'm super glad i'm a Muslim! Alhamdulillah.

and Allah made us all in different looks and colors so that we can recognize each other, not to hate, nor segregate.

and The Almighty Lord knows best.

Friday, December 18, 2009

short movie : NEW BOY

it was a private conversation!
i wonder what happened to the father..i  think they killed him.
and seth is gorgeus..

Sunday, December 6, 2009

this is me most of the time

no i'm lying. ALL the time!

an old post

I hate it when I stayed up all night so that;

  • ·      I can pray witr before Fajr
  • ·      I can read the Qur’an while waiting for Fajr
  • ·      I can pray Fajr early
  • ·      I won’t overslept and miss Fajr
  • ·      I can wake my twin and roommate up so they too can pray Fajr early

but I was so busy checking out stuffs in my Macbook, only to hear the adhan aka the call for prayer, and only to realize that;

  • ·      I haven’t pray the witr yet
  • ·      I haven’t read the Qu’ran yet
  • ·      I spent all night wasting my time on my precious Macbook

So I went to the toilet (angry with myself because I didn’t do the witr nor read the Qur’an), make my wudhu’, wake roommate up, pray qabliah, wake roommate up again, called Hannah aka twin, wake roommate up again, stood still and do nothing, wake roommate up again, waited for her to make her wudhu’, prayed with her, made dua with her, read the Qur’an to make up that I didn’t read it before Fajr, and now at 6:45 am, I’m here typing out everything I have in mind, shivering because the AC is blowing straight at me, when supposedly, I should be studying obviously because I have 3 tests waiting for me to screw ‘em all up.

Ok so the main point here is, the best thing to do in the morning are reading the Qur’an and pray Fajr on time, in jamaah. Nothing makes you feel like you just had the most ‘healthiest’ morning activity ever except than these. I don’t know why I typed ‘healthiest’. A day started with reading the Qur’an is so much better than a day started without it. Try it, and fell the difference. (if it doesn’t make any difference, I suggest you go check your tajweed. Hehe)

all cleared up..

So what do you do when your friend ‘confronted’ you and asked something awkward like….’I heard that u told someone something not so good bout me, did u?’ ??

I have two answers in mind.

If I don’t want to complicate stuff; I’ll just lie and tell her that the other friend wasn’t telling her the actual truth, she got it wrong, bla bla bla…white lies!

If I want to be a good she-muslim; I’ll just blurt out the truth. After all, it’s not that I was bitching (yep I just said that) about her or anything like that, it’s just that sometimes you need to tell someone when you’re upset over someone or stuffs like that.
(Though that someone is not supposed to know about you telling another friend that you’re upset with her (ok it is confusing!), things always happen for a reason, just wait because something good will eventually come out of it. Because ALLAH always knows what’s best for all of us aite?)

And yep I became a good she-muslim, only in my mind tho, haven’t had the chance to explain..oh, i hate explaining screwed up stuffs!

Q: Why do stuffs tangle up?
A: Because they make life more interesting!
Uggghhh true.

Am in an awkward atmosphere right now.

(I explained everything. MashaAllah I’m feelin goooood!)

Friday, December 4, 2009

No i dont hate guys

I just hate the perverted ones. The ones who talks about what I think are supposedly censored stuffs. Stuffs your parents would kill you if you talk about it. Stuffs that they cut out before airing it on HBO. I hate it when guys talk about it so openly/publicly like its football. It aint football!

And yes, I do appreciate it when you respect me as a hijabi, and do not talk about ‘it’ in front of me. But when you said it loud enough that I can hear it thru my quite-thick inside-scarf, doesn’t it make no difference at all? If I’m not looking, that doesn’t mean I’m not listening. And yes I have no idea what dirty stuff you were talking about (I am quite innocent if you haven’t notice), but from the look (sound?) of it, I know it sure is really dirrrtyy.

Its not even funny. You saw those girls laughing? They were just trying to fit in.

You know what, everytime you talk dirrrty, I was trying my best not to roll my eyes in disgust without anyone looking and give out my best angelic look, trying to look like I don’t give a damn whatever rubbish you were talking about or pretending I heard absolutely nothing. Each time you talk about it,  I kept saying astaghfirullahalazim, and ‘screw you!!!’ at the same time. I don’t really mean it (no I’m lying), but it just made me feel better.

I hope Allah shows you the right path. I hope you’ll hate dirrrty talks as much as I hate them. I hope you will act like a muslim.

I hate dirty talks.
I hate guys who talk dirty talks.
I hate guys who talk dirty talks all the time.
I hate guys who talk dirty talks in front of me.
I hate guys who talk dirty talks even behind me.
I hate girls who talk dirty talks with guys.
I hate guys who corrupt good guys.

There’s this guy who was forced to watch porn just because his housemates couldn’t stand looking at him being so pious. He ran out of the room, made his wudhu’, and prayed the solatul tawbah (prayer of repentance, I don’t know what you call it). I wanna marry him.

Screw bad guys.
May Allah bless you.
Oh…and me too.

why why why

there was no start.
why did you end it up?

Friday, November 6, 2009

hi sweetie, can i steal your food?

You can’t just barge into someone’s room, who you barely knows, woke her up from sleep while she’s dreaming, and ask her if you can have ‘just a little’ of her cookies, which she just bought, obviously because it’s still in the grocery bag, and finished almost half of the really small packet, just because you’re too hungry and you think you’ll die if you don’t munch ‘just a little’ of her cookies, and don’t think you’re not rude and it’s ok to do so just because she didn’t say anything and just smiled at you each time you a grab a handful of her oh-so-yummy cookies, and by the way, you don’t have to tell her that those cookies are so yummy, I bet she can tell, because you just finished another packet of the same cookies a few minutes ago.

You don’t need a teacher to teach you about manners and ethics. Life teaches you that. You can’t say you haven’t live long enough, because you’re a freakin 18.

There are no limits in giving, but there sure are limits in being given!

Thursday, October 15, 2009


i finished a bowl of pickles after iftar today. oh god, save my tummy!

i just found out a few weeks ago, that our feet is part of the awrah too.

'which one is better, this nike sneakers or my new white gladiator sandal?' i asked.
'sneakers of course,' she said
'because your feet is part of your awrah, cover it up,'

imagine the humiliation, because i've been the one to help her whenever she have problems being a muslim.
good thing is, it gave me a reason to beg my mom to buy new sneakers and lots of socks! i told my friend that my feet is having a fever when he asked me why am i wearing my sandal with socks. then the reply was, 'oh, get well soon!'

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

if you're a guy,

don't ask a girl,
'how many days u didn't fast during Ramadhan?'
cos we don't need u to tell us,
'wow! that's a lot!'

why did i stop blogging?

i was too busy reading other blogs, and too busy watching russel peters.
anyway, who even care?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Night ALLAH sent down the holy Qur'an

Only a few days left until Eid-ul-fitr. But have we really fill-up our Ramadan to the fullest? These last few days should be filled with more ibadahs and reading the Qur’an (along with understanding it).
Note that: The Prophet(s.a.w) used to strive hard in worship during the last ten days of Ramadan in a way that he did not strive at any other times.
I came across this article, but couldn’t find the link to it.

(al-Bukhaari, 1074). It was also reported (in Saheeh al-Bukhaari) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to wake ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when he wanted to pray Witr. (al-Bukhaari, 952). But when he woke his wives during the last ten nights of Ramadaan, this was more persistent than at other times of the year.
The fact that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did this indicates the importance he attached to worshipping his Lord and making the most of this special time.
The Muslim should follow the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), for he is the best example, and he should strive hard in worshipping Allaah. He should not waste the hours of these days and nights. For we do not know, perhaps this time will never come again, for the spoiler of pleasures, i.e., death, which must come to all men, may come and snatch him and his life will end; then he will feel regret at the time when regret will be of no avail.
Good luck with Laylat al-Qadr! insyaAllah.

Monday, September 7, 2009

the Imaam can rap (no offense)

I just came back from a really really long taraweeh. It was really nice as the Imaam was an Arab. (no offense to the local Imaaams) The recitation was really beautiful and to me, inspiring. oh, and it was REALLY FAST too. I wonder if he can rap too. hehe.

Halfway throughout the prayer, i found myself lost in my own thoughts and in my own world. I didn't get the khusyoo' fil salah that I've been longing for. Was it the kids screaming so 'softly' at the back? Or was it the Sister next to me that kept swaying left-right and back-forth? Or was it the Brother in front that kept sneezing so loudly? Or maybe it was just me? I'm in a desperate need of a 'soap' that can clean my heart so that InsyaAllah I'll get the khusoo'-ness I need in my prayers.

Almost halfway throughout the prayer, I was annoyed by the big (as big as me) gap in front of me, in the saff. I wonder if these Sisters understand the real meaning of solatul jamaah. Isn't it supposed to be shoulder-to-shoulder, or something like that? The Imaam kept reminding about it, but maybe they're just being ignorant. It was the I'm-not-sharing-my-prayer-mat-with-you attitude. And they even have the don't-come-too-close look. If they are in need of a bigger space to pray, than it's better to pray at home, than to annoy the hell out of others, especially me. Astaghfirullah.

After the witr, the Imaam recited a really long du'a. He was so emotional that I felt like crying too.

I just wish I could understand.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

oh love!

I wish
  • I can dress like this all the time
  • I live in somewhere where they wear this all the time
  • I belong to a community that dress like this all the time
ok not all the time, but maybe most of it. and not just plain black abaya, but pretty abayas,but still modest, for modest is beautiful.
if you are wondering, here in my country, abayas are usually worn occasionally.
if it's not obvious enough,
i don't know why.


I have too little knowledge.
Rabbi zidni 'ilma.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

a long (really long) post!

With a hijab comes a big responsibility and high expectations from the people around you a.k.a the Public. And with a certain type of Hijab, comes a certain type of responsibility.

I don’t know about you, but those short-sleeved hijabis in my country aren’t so well-respected by the opposite sex, as well as my own sex too. It’s a matter of whether you want to cover it all or not to cover. There is no rule such as ‘partially covering’, which in this case, refers to those short-sleeved (SS) hijabis. Oh, and these SS hijabis can be grouped under the same categories as those hijabis with super-tight/body-grippin shirts/blouses/dresses.Oh, have u seen them in super-tight abaya? I don't even know that an abaya can show all sexy curves on the body. And I thought that abaya is the most non-body-revealing outfit. Guess i'm wrong then.
These hijabis do not get high expectations from the Public. The Public won’t expect them to pray 5 times a day, nor to follow all the teachings in Islam. Trust me, because I’m the Public too, we all are. I’ve heard people calling these hijabis with lots of names that you do not even wanna know. So with little expectation comes only a litlle respect. Sorry girlfriends, but to gain the respect, you just have to lose the outfit. Get a new wardrobe yaa?

The second type of hijabi is the real hijabi, which means those who wear hijabi the right way, the way said in the Quranul Kareem, the way that Allah approves it. By covering the chest and not revealing the curves of the body.The perfect way to avoid unwanted stares from the XY species. We all know how scary the stares from this species can be right? It’s like they are raping you just by staring, pardon the metaphore, my dear friend Hado came up with this.

So for these Sisters, the full hijab comes with great responsibility and expectations. We as the Public, of course, will expect these Hijabis to be dutiful, faithful, or whateverful. They are also expected to have noble characteristics. These Hijabis are an example of the right dressing code in Islam, which in other words, they represent true Islam itself. So here comes the big responsibility for these Hijabis. So, they have to talk in a good way, do this in a good way, do that in a good way, and do everything else the right way. How these Sisters act shows the world how Islam is, or what Islam is. As the saying goes, you are what you act (taken from ‘you are what you eat’, recipe book. hihihi). Kudos to the Sisters that have shown the world the perfect way of living in Islam. Oh yes, and with big responsibilities comes big rewards. Likely rewards from the Most Giving. Jannah waiting in the Hereafter, insyaAllah.

I do not know if this can be a category too; the Hijabis without souls (they wear it the right way,like the real hijabis, but has no faith in Islam). What I mean is the Hijabis that wore Hijab just because it’s a part of the tradition, or just to be mysterious, so that they can play hard-to-get. Or just to simply earn respects. I am not here to write my negative thoughts about these Hijabis, if that is what you are thinking right now. But if we really think about it, and observe, these type of Hijabis are growing up their own community at the speed of light somewhere in any part of the world now as we speak(read?). So, are you wondering what wrong does these Hijabis do that I am slightly disapproving them?

Well, not all, just a few of them. The few that do not meet the requirements of how a real Muslimah should be. For example, Diyanah, who looked like an angel during the day, but a total smokin-hot-sexy-chick during the night, likely at parties wearing a dress that her little sister can fit in too. Oh and not to forget, it’s partially see-through. Forget about the SS hijabis, because these hijabis like Diyanah, physically represent the true Sisters in Islam. I say physically because in general, when you’re fully covered, you will be known as a dutiful,faithful Muslimah, and thus representing Islam. The Public won’t have the time to judge you based on your level of faith. In Diyanah’s scenario, even we Muslims must have bad impressions on her. Then think about those non-Muslims, what will they think of Islam when they meet Diyanah?

‘Muslims are hypocrites’

Even this will be my first impression on her too. How can u ‘physically’ be a Muslimah only during the day and a total non-practicing Muslimah at night? Make up your mind, Sister! Go gain your faith. You are giving negative impressions on Islam, enough of the negative impressions we had on the concept of Jihad, the concept of treating women, treating ones wife, and more coming into the list by the second I write this.

Fourth : the Hijabless. Not much to comment.Yes they are hijabless, but that doesn’t mean they are faithless. In every little heart there is faith, be it strong or weak. Hope that the faith will grow stronger. insyaAllah. Ameen.

Sorry if this post hurts any little hearts out there. (Wondering if I even have a reader for this post) These are  just some thoughts wandering in my little brain. I do not intend to point out bad points of any Hijabis.

Salaam. Have a blessed Ramadhan.


It’s so weird. Now I’m in the mood of listening to Boyz II Men, Babyface and KC & Jojo. This is so depressing. Erkkk.I know it's Ramadhan, but a little bit of entertainment won't hurt the faith, InsyaAllah.

This is a shout out to anyone who kept criticizing me because I listen to Boyz II Men :
Boyz II Men is not just any ordinary boy band; it’s a band with beautiful voices and musical geniuses. This band, in my opinion, deserves a better position and media coverage than the Jonas Brothers, who survived in the music industry merely because of their gay-ish physical attraction and awesome music producers. To wrap it up, Boyz II Men is beyond the valley of awesomeness.

I can’t write about Boyz II Men without writing about the ultimate boy band/rock band/super rock star /Patrick Stump’s band. It will be a total insult to my forever-in-my-heart band.

Fall Out Boy: From my slightly blurry point of view, FOB deserves awards for the music that Patrick Stump composed. The music is just awesome, it’s undeniable. Yes the videos are interesting, but shouldn’t they be appreciated for the music they’re making? But still there’s nothing wrong with winning awards after awards for their music videos. Kudos to Alan Ferguson, if i'm not mistaken is the director. Whilst Pete Wentz should write some more beautiful and non-understandable lyrics. No matter how much I hate Petey, I still can’t deny his lyrics are genius. The meanings are so deep that you have to keep reading it till you get the light. Unique is the word.

Pssst: Jut found out (officially) that Patrick has a girlfriend. Good for him. God bless you, Patrick. FYI, he’s an atheist. Hoping that he’ll get the light. Ameen.

And I just found a hidden treasure from Youtube; a band called Ahmir. I think they can absolutely pass for Boyz II Men Jr. Check out the cover they did of Miley Cyrus' The Climb. BEAUTIFUL.

Keep the Faith.

go get some sleeves, girlfriend!

You know what’s funny?
Short-sleeved hijaabi.

You know what’s funnier?

‘salaam, why the hijaab?’ I asked the short-sleeved hijaabi.
‘Oh, I believe in the Hereafter, I fear my Lord Allah, and I have faith in Him,’
‘then why are you wearing short-sleeved shirt? Aren’t you aware that hijab comes in a package? It’s not just about covering the hair,’
‘yes I know, but it matches my scarf today,’

What the???
The brains of our sisters today need to be cleaned, or, if possible, reproduced. A huge misconception about hijaab. What’s the use of wearing a hijaab when we can see every inch of your curves? Astaghfirullahalazim.

“O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)

And Allah Taala knows best.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

ain't falling for it!

‘Can I have your number so I can wake you up for fajr?’ 

This is probably the lamest pickup line for Muslims ever. But still lots of us fell for it. Tricky huh?

Don’t come near to adultery(zinaa): for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils) (surah al-isra’ 17:32)

Haven’t you heard of the alarm clock? Go figure!

typical me

I was born a Muslim, but lived a life without feeling the joy of praying or reading the Quran for years. Praying 5 times a day was never a burden, but never was a real joy too. Reading the Quran means reading the Yaasin on Friday nights, suratul Mulk every night (just because it’s obligatory at school), and practicing tajweed from the ustadz every fortnight. It was rarely more than that. Reading it was never out of my own will. As sad as it sounds, it showed that I never tasted the joy of performing those ibadahs.

It’s funny how the light of Islam came to me. By watching people kept making wrong decisions, choosing the wrong way, wrong crowd, all the times. Watching these people that doesn’t give a damn about what religion is, it just showed me how ‘lost’ can a human be. Watching Muslims ignoring the teachings so that they can have all the fun in dunya, to an extent that some of them denied the teachings, questioning the Hereafter and ignoring advices and da’wahs. Then I realized that they may have all the fun they want, but they never will achieve the happiness inside. They looked happy from outside, but lonely inside. Frankly, they are like humans without souls. So i stood, contemplating myself in my prayer, and thought, I have a soul, and I want to cherish it.

Being the type that never spills out problems made me feel like I’m in need of someone to talk to. This brought me closer to Ar-Raheem, hence closer to this deen. Alhamdulillah, the faith grew stronger, but it was never strong enough and not even for a long period. Peer pressure was always the reason. Do not ask why, but the faith grew weaker and weaker to a point that I lost the joy of being a Muslim, again. I was 16 and yes, stupid.

It took me quite some time to ‘regain’ the faith. The saying that gave me the biggest change in my life was this, ‘do not wait to change for the better, build up your faith as it won’t come to you by itself’. So here I am today, surviving each day trying to be a better Muslim than yesterday. InsyaAllah.

psssst : i'm still super-obsessed with Fall Out Boy and anything RnB.