Sunday, May 30, 2010

so whats your jihad?

So i was gonna send an e-mail to M93 and Amira (click to read a really inspiring blog!) to ask them stuffs about music. But just as i was gonna do that, M93 forwarded an e-mail to me, regarding music. What a beautiful coincidence! The e-mail went something like 'Do you listen to music, and want to stop?'. MasyaAllah i was speechless when I was reading it. Thanks M93 and of course thank you my Lord. Just when i was looking for signs and clues and reasons, He answered my prayers, my needs.

So now here I am in front of my laptop, deleting songs. It was pretty hard as I always feel really connected to the songs I listen to. Bye Babyface, BoyzIIMen, Lionel Richie, Earth Wind and Fire, K-Ci and Jojo, Patrick Stump..the last song I listened to was Last Night's Letter by K-Ci and Jojo if I'm not mistaken. Whatever it is, adios!

oh sad but yeahh

I had this thing going on in my head for quite some time already, but I kinda ignore it. But what inspired me the most was the fact that there are lots and lots of musicians out there that gave up music, though music was their passion, their lifestyle. While here I am just a listener, know nothing about music but still have a harder time to let it go. I feel so weak watching them in their jihad. Muslim Belal even starts rapping with no music, UK Apache or Abdul Wahab too stopped music, Masikah Feesabilillah too stopped music. So many people stopped so why not me? I'm a Muslim too..

I was watching a video of Masikah and SubhanaAllah i haven't been more inspired. As he said 'music is like fitna to me'. And an older man was telling him how he's putting Jannah at risk for doing music.

Some people believe that we can't change ourselves overnight. So some people might say you can start by listening to less music. But I believe that if there's a strong will, anything is possible if Allah wills it. Yes giving up music is really hard, but I'm doing it for my Lord, my deen, my faith. There's a reward for being patient and for the jihad of the nafs. So this is my jihad. Maybe some will cal me outdated and ask me to be more open minded..There are too many arguments and discussions about how music is haram and whatnot, and some believe thats its halal as long as you don't go astray, wallahua'lam, but i just wanna be on the safe side, I'm just a weak slave spending my last hours or maybe minutes on this earth so why not do my best?

The regret I may face on the day of Judgement will never be worth the fun..

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


i'm gettin lazier and lazier and lazier by the day..can't wait for this course to finish and just go home and do nothing :)

Monday, May 10, 2010

hmmmm what shall i say?

Yesterday I made a sudden decision to deactivate my facebook account for no reason, simply doing it because Hannah did that too few weeks ago. But today I’m back again, maybe after just some friggin 18 hours, back to re-activate my facebook account. Because I missed the habit of continuously checking or refreshing the page to check for any single notification or message. I don’t know why but seeing the red highlight at my inbox makes me go ‘ooohhhh’. And then went ‘blehhh’ after receiving a forwarded email from random friends asking me to ‘click this link! To see me as a superhero!’. Some people just need to go and find a better life instead of downloading pictures of oneself and make that desperate self to look like a superhero. I mean, how more cliché can that be? But I guess if that’s the way it works, I need to get a life too,  cause I ended up clicking the link and anxiously waiting for an accurate 100secs for the ‘superhero’ to load. And I replied to that dear friend saying boring things like ‘OMG that looked sooo real!’. Maybe that’s the combination of being lifeless and pissed because I spent some time watching such stuff rather than eating ice-cream.

hi there add me if u think i'm cooler than you :)

But its sad that I never go ‘ooohhh’ seeing a forwarded email from Sheikh Abdurraheem Green on subjects like how we can help the Ummah or about deaths, Friday khutbas..etcetra. I didn’t knew that when I added that Sheikh on facebook, that he was gonna flood my inbox in such a way! Don’t get me wrong, I’m saying he’s flooding my inbox with good stuffs and naseehahs. But sometimes it gets really really loooong and I’ll just ‘save it for later’. I will insyaAllah really finish reading them next time, or next time, or next time.

And I also was missing that habit of continuously checking who’s online on facebook. Ok so you see, I’m the type of human who always appears offline in such public site. Because I do not want any unwanted ‘hellos’ from guys that have nothing important to talk about, and asking stuffs like ‘do you still know me?’ Of course I know you! Why did you think I approved the request? Because of your look? Because I think you’re cool? Maybe I’m just not rude enough to ignore a request from an ex-schoolmate from primary school. So the thing is, I don’t even know why I kept checking who’s online, seriously, every 5-10 minutes, and go back to ‘offline’ mode. Its like a facebook addiction. I don’t even like to chat there, its unbelievably small. Like a cheap chat box.

Oh. Few weeks ago I was watching The Gospel, an awesome Christian movie. Okay I don’t really know if its awesome or not, because I didn’t finish it, because halfway throughout the movie, it appears that Idris Elba was the bad guy! I TOTALLY can’t accept that and just stopped watching. I found that the Gospel songs are really catchy that some of it were playing in my head, all the harmonious voices. But of course I stopped listening, no worries peeps. What to day what to say? Ahhh…so I got this quote from the movie. MasyaAllah.

‘We should spend a little less time lookin good, and a little more time to actually BE GOOD’ The Gospel

Ain’t that just beautiful, inspiring and beautiful? It makes sooo much sense, and I actually watched that part few times cause I thought it’s just meaningful. And another thing, the quote was actually said by a Father, to Idris Elba, cause apparently, Idris was about to do something not so good on behalf of the church. And that’s when I stopped watching. And of course the earlier part of the quote stated ‘spend a little less time lookin good’ as such, because Idris does look really good mann! Astaghfirullahazim. Just to let you know, I’m not idolizing or whatever, but before I start drooling, I better stop typing.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

if you have a boyfriend, or flirting with/stalking someone..

....then this post is for you.

Sometimes you just have to let go of things, even if you don’t want to, even though it doesn’t seem right, when it actually is. Be it materialistic stuffs, or something that got to do about your emotions. So I’m now talking about ee-mow-shen-zzz ß (I’m completely aware that I can be lame at times)

I learnt about letting go. I learnt how to cope with it. And now I’m learning it again.

Some people are just too scared to let go. Too scared to be left alone, not having a lover to talk to, to lean on to. I do understand if it’s about loving and being loved, but to talk about it toooo seriously, moreover, at a young age, is just ridiculous. It’s just too much. I don’t find it tolerable. It’s just someone being dramatic, and blaming it on the hormones.

Sorry if anyone reading this is in the exact same situation. But being me, I just don’t understand. I have a circle of friends, each with their own dramas and problems. From how I see it, if your relationship has more cries than laughs, than you haven’t really grasp the meaning of having your own significant half.

A line from the song Pass You By by BoyzIIMen;

‘Don’t have to stay with someone that makes you cry, you’ll end up killing all the love you have inside’

I also do not mean if you have more laughs than cries, you should stay with your boyfriend. Don’t twist my words around.

That is exactly why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that there’s nothing more that should be done for two people that is in love, except for marriage.

Marriage is the answer. If you think you are ready for a marriage, then you will be ready for a relationship. Pre-marital relationship disses and annoys me, as much as they make me feel yuckk. I don’t think you should get involved in something that you are not ready. I think, exchanging feelings with a guy you’re not married to, is WEIRD and UNCOMFORTABLE.

‘I like you’
‘Hey I like you too’
‘Be my girlfriend’
‘oh of course!’
‘Life is sweet, aint it?’

Naaaahhhhhhhh! I think I love my pride more.

People give various reasons to stay in pre-marital relationships. ‘I would like to know him better’ ‘I don’t wanna marry a stranger’. No one’s talking about marrying a stranger, honey. I’m talking about knowing your limits here. Limits between a guy and a girl. People tend to go over the limit in getting to know someone they like.

Maybe you’re thinking I’m talking crap, it’s expected, because I don’t know how to explain my view on this. I’m thinking and seeing this from an Islamic point of view, but I do not know how to elaborate and explain things clearly. Just pardon me this time.

Okay so we all know how having a boyfriend or girlfriend is considered haram in Islam right? And pre-marital relationships doesn’t exist in Islam, only marriage does exist. That’s all I want to say actually. What a long intro, I was trying sooo hard to explain and ended up thinking, ‘naaaah I’ll just write the facts’.

I’m just trying to say, don’t get yourself involved in any pre-marital relationship. It’s not healthy for your mind, soul, heart…spiritually.

emmmmm....i don't think so.

People who love being emotionally attached to someone will find this hard. They tend to go with what they want. At the end of the day, it’s not just what you feel like it, it’s about what’s wrong and what’s right. You may be wrong, and of course God is always right, but you just haven't seen it yet. Just have faith in God, and you’ll be safe insyaAllah.

This explains my view on having a boyfriend, and thus, why I never had one. I just don’t like the idea of having one, and I because know its wrong. I also refrain myself from being emotionally attached to someone. Alhamdulillah it’s working. Although sometimes I do think it’s fun to just have a conversation with a specific guy, (not just any random guy) but I know it’s just not right, and I just don’t do it. Easy. Easy like Sunday morning.

I used to have long conversations at night with a guy friend, and to tell you the truth, it was fun, though I know it’s not the right thing to do! To have someone that you can just talk to for hours, and being comfortable with it, and being able to express your ideas like a grown up. People don’t usually ‘digest’ my ideas like I’m a grown up. And to exchange ideas from different point of views in life is so interesting. To talk about serious stuffs, not just craps. So I really appreciate this friend. But still, if you love your God, and you know what you do is not what He wants you to do, your happiness will always be shadowed with a HUGE guilt. Whenever a man and women is alone, shaytan is the third among them. And this does'nt apply just physically, but virtually too, like on the phone, chatting etc. You get what i mean. So I ended up explaining to this friend about it, and just stopped hanging out. And now Alhamdulillah I got the peace that I was looking for.

If you’re a guy, and I had never sat down and chatted with you all night, then you’re just not the guy I’m talking about okay. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about you.

The main point here is, just don’t get yourself in any relationships before marriage. I’m not being extremist but it is just simply haram. Allah knows what’s best. Be smart and just do what He says.

And Voila! One complete crappy post.

Ma’a salama people.

Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil way. Al-Israa' (17:32)