I just came back from a really really long taraweeh. It was really nice as the Imaam was an Arab. (no offense to the local Imaaams) The recitation was really beautiful and to me, inspiring. oh, and it was REALLY FAST too. I wonder if he can rap too. hehe.
Halfway throughout the prayer, i found myself lost in my own thoughts and in my own world. I didn't get the khusyoo' fil salah that I've been longing for. Was it the kids screaming so 'softly' at the back? Or was it the Sister next to me that kept swaying left-right and back-forth? Or was it the Brother in front that kept sneezing so loudly? Or maybe it was just me? I'm in a desperate need of a 'soap' that can clean my heart so that InsyaAllah I'll get the khusoo'-ness I need in my prayers.
Almost halfway throughout the prayer, I was annoyed by the big (as big as me) gap in front of me, in the saff. I wonder if these Sisters understand the real meaning of solatul jamaah. Isn't it supposed to be shoulder-to-shoulder, or something like that? The Imaam kept reminding about it, but maybe they're just being ignorant. It was the I'm-not-sharing-my-prayer-mat-with-you attitude. And they even have the don't-come-too-close look. If they are in need of a bigger space to pray, than it's better to pray at home, than to annoy the hell out of others, especially me. Astaghfirullah.
After the witr, the Imaam recited a really long du'a. He was so emotional that I felt like crying too.
I just wish I could understand.